Last October I address my thoughts on Michigan sports as a whole, and I feel like I should revisit and explain my updated stance on our local teams.
Detroit Lions
Every year, I have hope. I pray to the supernatural that just maybe the Lions will make a run for it all. All I think now is the 30 for 30 that will come out about how the Lions are cursed without even being cursed. You had great terrible teams come out of the muck, the Cubs won a World Series, the Red Sox turned it around, the damn Browns are now Super Bowl contenders. Where are the Lions? No where, that’s where. The Lions did the right things this off-season, but I hate saying how great we drafted without seeing any of these guys actually play on Sunday. We have an aging QB, absolutely no receiving depth, have no idea who is playing our other guard position, no opposite corner to Slay, and praying to the heavens that Tavai works out to be a great linebacker and Tracy Walker being a great safety. Our defensive line looks great, but other than that, the only thing I can look forward to is the memes on r/NFL to another possible failed 1st round tightend. It’s a shame, but I can’t look away. This team hypes me up only to break my heart.
Detroit Pistons
Can anyone explain to me what is going on here. Again, people are telling me it’s a great draft but come on. No way of knowing, at all, until the season starts. And I can’t help but recall that the Pistons were about to trade for Mike Conley, what a joke. Let’s put all of our cap space towards 3 players, who other than Blake Griffen, are not worth the check. I feel bad for Blake if I’m being honest. I don’t see how the Pistons will make a legitimate run in the East, and considering all of the stars are moving to the West, what a disaster. This team is a disaster.
Detroit Tigers
Check this out, the Tigers have a chance to not even get to 50 wins this year. Losing 100 games is sad, but losing 110 games, that’s another joke. A joke that we may be laughing about. I don’t give a shit about a rebuild, you should be able to win more than 50 games. The Tigers have won less than I’d say 6 series this season. I don’t even bother paying attention anymore because I’m better off watching a little league game. If tickets were free, I’d still probably not go.
Detroit Red Wings
Yay, Steve Yzerman is back. Maybe we can show up to play a game other than in the last month when we’re locked in on a top 3 pick. Who’s brain told them, you know what, instead of us giving ourselves a better chance next season with a higher rated prospect, lets win some games to completely destroy that. But hey, young team, Stevie Y, I’ll have to check with the hockey experts to find out how I should feel.
Michigan Wolverines
Yes, I’m aware that the baseball team is in the World Series. I’m talking about the football team running away from the College Football Playoff as fast as they could. Getting absolutely embarrassed by the Buckeyes, only to get even more embarrassed by the Gators. Jim Harbaugh finally passed the offense down to his offensive coordinator, so hopefully we can actually throw the ball more than 15 times a game. Oh, and the entire defense left so let’s see how that’s going to treat us. Maybe another 10 win season with some shitty bowl game will suffice. It’s unfortunate that fans are okay with that. Still baffles me.
Michigan State Spartans
I’m clearly a Wolverine fan but I hope that the Spartans can score more than 10 points a game. I wish that the Michigan vs State game would be more special than what it is now. Granted, the weather has caused the games to be a shit show that last few years, but can you imagine Lewerke throwing for 300 yards with that great defense behind him? State would be easily a top 10 team in the nation, but whoever is running that offense over there is either blind or incompetent because numbers don’t lie.
All in all, I feel like this is an accurate overview of our local teams. Not much to be excited for other than to be pissed off that we suck at the end of each season.
UTL 