The Trials and Tribulations of Michigan Sports

Last October I address my thoughts on Michigan sports as a whole, and I feel like I should revisit and explain my updated stance on our local teams.

Detroit Lions

Every year, I have hope. I pray to the supernatural that just maybe the Lions will make a run for it all. All I think now is the 30 for 30 that will come out about how the Lions are cursed without even being cursed. You had great terrible teams come out of the muck, the Cubs won a World Series, the Red Sox turned it around, the damn Browns are now Super Bowl contenders. Where are the Lions? No where, that’s where. The Lions did the right things this off-season, but I hate saying how great we drafted without seeing any of these guys actually play on Sunday. We have an aging QB, absolutely no receiving depth, have no idea who is playing our other guard position, no opposite corner to Slay, and praying to the heavens that Tavai works out to be a great linebacker and Tracy Walker being a great safety. Our defensive line looks great, but other than that, the only thing I can look forward to is the memes on r/NFL to another possible failed 1st round tightend. It’s a shame, but I can’t look away. This team hypes me up only to break my heart.

Detroit Pistons

Can anyone explain to me what is going on here. Again, people are telling me it’s a great draft but come on. No way of knowing, at all, until the season starts. And I can’t help but recall that the Pistons were about to trade for Mike Conley, what a joke. Let’s put all of our cap space towards 3 players, who other than Blake Griffen, are not worth the check. I feel bad for Blake if I’m being honest. I don’t see how the Pistons will make a legitimate run in the East, and considering all of the stars are moving to the West, what a disaster. This team is a disaster.

Detroit Tigers

Check this out, the Tigers have a chance to not even get to 50 wins this year. Losing 100 games is sad, but losing 110 games, that’s another joke. A joke that we may be laughing about. I don’t give a shit about a rebuild, you should be able to win more than 50 games. The Tigers have won less than I’d say 6 series this season. I don’t even bother paying attention anymore because I’m better off watching a little league game. If tickets were free, I’d still probably not go.

Detroit Red Wings

Yay, Steve Yzerman is back. Maybe we can show up to play a game other than in the last month when we’re locked in on a top 3 pick. Who’s brain told them, you know what, instead of us giving ourselves a better chance next season with a higher rated prospect, lets win some games to completely destroy that. But hey, young team, Stevie Y, I’ll have to check with the hockey experts to find out how I should feel.

Michigan Wolverines

Yes, I’m aware that the baseball team is in the World Series. I’m talking about the football team running away from the College Football Playoff as fast as they could. Getting absolutely embarrassed by the Buckeyes, only to get even more embarrassed by the Gators. Jim Harbaugh finally passed the offense down to his offensive coordinator, so hopefully we can actually throw the ball more than 15 times a game. Oh, and the entire defense left so let’s see how that’s going to treat us. Maybe another 10 win season with some shitty bowl game will suffice. It’s unfortunate that fans are okay with that. Still baffles me.

Michigan State Spartans

I’m clearly a Wolverine fan but I hope that the Spartans can score more than 10 points a game. I wish that the Michigan vs State game would be more special than what it is now. Granted, the weather has caused the games to be a shit show that last few years, but can you imagine Lewerke throwing for 300 yards with that great defense behind him? State would be easily a top 10 team in the nation, but whoever is running that offense over there is either blind or incompetent because numbers don’t lie.

All in all, I feel like this is an accurate overview of our local teams. Not much to be excited for other than to be pissed off that we suck at the end of each season.


Daenerys Targaryen wears the pants, let’s be honest MY BLOG:

SPOILER ALERT!!!! If you have not watched Game of Thrones up to season 8 episode 5 then go read another post at and come back after you have watched.

Daenerys Targaryen is Jon’s queen, my queen, and your queen. Mercy is her strength. If you thought she would spare King’s Landing then I’m sorry, beta. Daenerys was shown that episode as the next “Mad King” but that is bullshit. Not once did the camera cut to Daenerys, herself, as she burned KL. I don’t know if you forgot who Daenerys is. Daenerys was on the run as a kid, her father murdered, and molested by her brother. She was sold off to the Dothraki, where she was raped repeatedly. She falls in love with her rapist, but ends up watching him and her only child die. That’s only the beginning. She gets these baby dragons, has them stolen from her by this freak Warlock, gets them back, and becomes the Breaker of Chains. Daenerys gives people a choice, let’s not forget that. She takes Jorah in, Jorah betrays her. I understand the argument that can be had there, but nonetheless, he betrayed her. Lots of things happened in between, he gets the stone disease, she tells him to get help, he does, and then becomes a member of her council. Blah blah blah, Tyrion and Varys come along, blah blah blah, Daenerys meets Jon, incest begins, blah blah blah.

Here is what I have trouble with, yes Jon Snow is a Targaryen, kind of. The Targaryens keep a close bloodline, and Jon is only half Targaryen. Daenerys is full blown Silver hair though. Jon WANTS Daenerys to sit the Iron Throne. Daenerys WANTS the Iron Throne, after-all, she deserves it more than anyone. I don’t understand this idea of people wanting Jon Snow to sit the Iron Throne because he is a “good guy”. Give me a break. Daenerys tried being the “good guy” by trying to create an alliance with the Lannisters/Starks to fight the Dead. She was mistaken. Daenerys does not like mistakes. Her dragons are the reason they were able to battle Cersei in the first place, hence burning the Dead. Cersei was given multiple chances. She could have fought with the living at the Battle of Winterfell, but she chose not to. She could have surrendered, but she chose to chop of Missandei’s head. Daenerys lost Jorah, Missandei, Khal Drogo, her baby, her two dragons, and countless numbers of the Dothraki and Unsullied. If you believe that when the Lannisters surrendered, she could have just peacefully took King’s Landing then your wrong. The Army would rebel, the citizens would rebel. She is not going to be a Queen that is loved, she will be a Queen that is feared. She used fear to take everything she has taken thus far.

Jon Snow is the rightful heir, but he is not the right heir. He is a great swordsman, and a great strategist. He is no King. It is a Game of Thrones, and Jon is okay with being in the shadows. Daenerys understands the cruel world that is Westeros more than anyone. King’s Landing is ash right now because Daenerys does not make mistakes. Westeros is now how it should be, under Targaryen rule.

Little Brother (Inner Monologue vol.2)

Inner Monologue is how I express my thoughts on a range of issues and topics. Specifically, these pieces will be less analytical and more broad. This is a platform for me to give my two cents on things that are a point of controversy. I will offend, I might be wrong, but I will be honest. My opinions are my own, but I am open to discussion. Enjoy.

Boo-hoo Sparties, boo-hoo. Cry about Devin Bush’s stomping on your sacred logo. Cry about Winovich calling you a little brother. Cry about Harbaugh not apologizing for their actions. Or let’s make excuses on how your QB was hurt, how he didn’t practice all week. Or how your key players were hurt. Yes, feel sorry for yourselves. Feel sorry for yourselves because nobody else gives a damn.

Let’s start on your excuses. Brian Lewerke was hurt. Apparently he didn’t practice all week. If that’s the case, why was he under center? Explain that. It ruins chemistry with the line, the receivers, and the backs. You have a dude named Rocky Lombardi running with the starters during practice, but give Lewerke the go on game day? It’s hard to get any worse at QB. Would Lombardi win that game for you? No. I don’t think Jesus would’ve won that game for you. Furthermore on the injuries, yeah your team is banged up. So was Michigan. Arguably our star players on both sides of the ball weren’t playing (Black and Gary). Don’t give me a sob story on how your team is injury plagued. Your gameplan sucked. Your execution sucked. Your play calling sucked. Your team sucked.

Now onto the sad part. The Sparties get absolutely destroyed, and the thing they want to bitch about is Michigan’s “class”. “Win with class” “Act like you’ve been here before” “Devin Bush is a child” “Winovich’s comments were uncalled for and disgusting” smd how about that. You wanna bitch and moan about all that when you couldn’t even get 100 yards of offense? You couldn’t stop the run when, apparently, you had the best run defense in the country. But the biggest takeaway from this game are things that didn’t even happen in those 60 minutes of football. The only “disgusting” thing about that game on Saturday is how horrific you played.

Now in comes the “we weren’t even a good team anyway” comments. You beat Penn State. You were ranked. You were just out planned, out matched, and out coached. The better team won.

Chase Winovich talked about how you were the little brother and that is what has everyone bitching. You know who bitches? Little brothers. Take your loss, move on, and get better because you sucked on Saturday.


Baseball is dead (Inner Monologue vol.1)

My Inner Monologue series is one that I express my thoughts and opinions about things that bother me particularly. This will be pointless to you if you come here expecting any intellectual writing, although I am indeed an intellectual. Inner Monologue will be random, informal, but probably relatable. I appreciate you.

First entry into this new series, and I feel the pressure. Let me set the stage, my lady decides she wants to take me out (chivalry is not dead). The place we go hasn’t reached out for a sponsorship/partnership so I refuse to give them free promo, but the place was packed with lots of drunk, white people. All ages, men and women, but it was mostly white.

Now here’s the problem with the white thing, white people love baseball. I’m white, and I’m an outlier because baseball fucking sucks. It’s the single worst sport to watch. And guess what, the damn NLCS was on, Brewers vs Dodgers. Mind you, 3 other college football games were on. I’m a fan of Dave Roberts, the Dodgers manager, so I consider myself a Dodgers fan. Now tell me this, not one person in this packed ass place was rooting for the Dodgers. I don’t get this. I feel like if I were to ask one of the drunk dudes what state Milwaukee was in, they would probably answer “yes”. That’s problem one.

Problem two is the Dodgers catcher dropped two balls in one inning, and the obscenities that came out of these peoples mouths toward this catcher took my breath away. “This guys sucks” “This dude is so bad” “Nice one catcher, haha catch is even in his position’s name” but the worst of them all is “I could do better”. Really Chad? You’re 6’1 and 120lbs soaking wet, probably spent your Sunday’s in church because your travel baseball team couldn’t get out of group play on Saturday, and you played on JV until your senior year. You mean to tell me that a dude who is starting for one of the top 4 teams in Major League Baseball is not as good as you? You mean to tell me that an organization is willing to pay somebody $10M instead of signing Chad from Ann Arbor who is sitting in Pizza House eating a deep dish pepperoni pizza while sipping on a Bud Light? It’s crazy to me.

Furthermore, another problem I would like to address are what I call “Twitter Analysts”. These are the people who 1. Do play-by-play commentary through tweets. 2. Try to do deep dive analysts on things 85% of their followers give no fucks about. Or 3. Use should’ve would’ve could’ve statements. We get it, you should be up in the box calling the game. You know what, most of the time these Twitter Analysts should be on the sideline wearing headsets calling the plays. Who would’ve thought throwing on third and one was such an idiotic play when you can “JUST RUN THE BALL”. Well here’s my rebuttal Twitter Analyst Mr. Just Run The Ball:

When it’s third and one on your own 37 yard line, most defenses will load the box to TAKE AWAY THE RUN. Key point there guy. If you have an I-formation with a split receiver, the defense will probably bring one corner in to cover the outside run, have a safety over the top for help with the corner on the lone receiver, and take the other safety out to turn you into a 5 front/ 4-4 looking set. This means 8 are in the box. Where can you run? Of course the defense thinks you are going to run. So if you play action pass it, as most times they do when they don’t run, you’re going to look for the tightend on a out route after the quarterback rolls out of the pocket to move the chains. When they convert, it’s a hell of a play call. When they don’t, you jump on twitter and give your two cents like it means a damn to anyone. Continue eating your boneless teriyaki wings and leave your dirty ass fingers off your phone.

With all that said, it’s one thing to run rampant on a player/coach/team, but criticizing is fine. But criticizing means to use critical thinking, which Twitter Analysts lack. Risky play calls that work are viewed as genius, and those that fail are viewed as horrendous choices.

All in all, I’m just sick and tired of all of this nonsense. I hope rather than being offended, you relate. If you’re offended, I probably hate you. Maybe.

TLDR; You’re not better than any athlete that you are watching on TV. More than a single tweet criticizing a play is preposterous.

Michigan Sports Suck and I’m Mad About It

Maybe suck isn’t the right word. Awful, terrible, sad, horrific, and depressing could all work. You know the old saying of “I’m not mad, just disappointed?” that your parents probably have said to you? Yeah, that no longer applies to Michigan sports teams. I’m pissed. We have no team that can contend. Here’s my rundown specifically:

Lions: How can you lose to Darnold and Dak Prescott, but beat Tom Brady? That makes no damn sense. I’m sure Patricia circled the New England game when he was hired in, and the Lions were phenomenal in that game. What Patricia needs to do is circle every game on the schedule, and maybe we’ll win some ball games. I’m so confused on this Lions team. Run the ball. Rush the quarterback. Tackle Ezekiel Elliot. Just do something meaningful. This Lions team can not win games scoring 21 points. Despicable.

Pistons: Where the hell is our money? Why do we not have a superstar? Why is it a question of whether or not we will contend for a playoff spot in the EAST? For Christ sake, the East is the worst conference this league has ever had and we can’t even get a playoff spot. Our savior Blake Griffin will be making $30M+ the next 70 years. Jon Leur is making $19M the next two years. Reggie Jackson is making $35M the next two years. Are you kidding me? Where is our playmaker? Why can’t they draft quality players? Why isn’t Jimmy Butler in uniform yet? Disgraceful.

Tigers: Nice rebuild. Top 5 pick. Except you won too many games. Also, what happened to our rotation from 4 years ago? Price, Verlander, Scherzer, Porcello, and Sanchez? 4/5 won the Cy Young and we don’t have one of them now. I can honestly say I haven’t watched one of their games this year. Uninterested.

Red Wings: I don’t watch hockey but they didn’t make the playoffs and that’s not good so boo Red Wings. Indifferent.

Wolverines: Here we go. Let’s go ahead and get 5 QB’s, have Speight suck, throw O’Korn out there and suck more, then Peters suck but a little less. Then let’s have McCaffery be our future, with some good freshman coming in, but go out and get Shea Patterson. Then, let’s have Shea only throw to tight ends on out routes for 3 yards each time against Notre Dame to ruin our season. This team has so much talent being wasted. Disgusting.

Spartans: I watched my first Spartans game this weekend in EL. Lewerke is not all that I was expecting him to be. This team is just like the Wolverines, except worse. Expected.

There’s no good in this state. It’s all just junk. I’m sick of it. I wish I could confidently take Michigan -5.5 vs Northwestern but I can’t. I wish I could take the Lions -2.5 vs the Jets but I can’t. I wish I could watch the Tigers but it’s so hard. I wish the Pistons were fun but they’re not. Michigan sports suck.